kinda short of cash lately..eagarly waiting to get my new computer. Damien is so busy recently. I'm feeling so lonely. Oh god. Accompany him to esplanade yesterday for his CNY performances and accompany him for dinner at marina square. I was feeling very randomly while he was talking to taurus. We walked back to esplanade together. He left me at the esplanade mall escalator. He couldn't hear me calling him and he walked off to his holding room. I was feeling frustrated. With that feeling, i took the bus back home from the esplanade. He sms me when I was on the bus and tell me to let him know when i left esplanade. But I left there without telling him. I was feeling down at the time. I replied his sms with some nonsense. He called me but I didn't take up his call. I was feeling empty. I was thinking that if he called me again, i will pick up his call. But he didn't call back the second time. I replied his sms with some nonsense again. I didn't know why i'm doing that. I alight from the bus and walked back home after that. Suddenly i have the urge to visit my grandpa at the hospital. I went back home to bath before heading to the hospital. I took a cab down to the hospital. Some of the things just flash through my mind. I still remembered how my grandpa would accompany me when i was young. Bring me out for a walk. He will bring me anywhere he goes. I was never lonely with him around me. That second, i realised that i was weeping on the cab. When I reached the hospital, i saw him lying there. He was as lonely as me. I talked to him. He only understands cantonese and our conversation become lesser. Cause my cantonese is limited. He told me that he is hungry. But the doctor says no food and drink is allowed. I didn't know why. I stayed there with him until around 9.30p.m. and I went to the convenient store and buy a cup of mashed potato. I'm hungry too. Took a cab back home after that as it was getting late. Reached home at around 10p.m. Called Damien on the phone. I feel like talking to him. I'm still feeling down. I feel empty deep down...
Today had breakfsat with winnie. Still having school as usual. Was very tired. F&N is getting interesting. I keep telling Elaine that something is leaking inside me and she don't understands what I'm talking about. So, forget it. My period just started and it nearly stained my skirt(laughs)...back to the topic. I have the urge to finish my coursework fast and furious. I can't let afifah win me this time round. I want back my top 1 position for F&N. I have the feeling that she wants to compete with me. I can tell and i hate the feeling that she wins me at the coursework component last year. Have been slacking a lot last year and also due to my ex-bgr. I'm going to buck up this year. Going to pass my O's with flying colours! I need motivation! Went to bubble tea after school and karan told me that she saw handsome guy. And that guy turns out to be ruiyun boyfriend. She was like saying that ruiyun and her boyfriend are not compatible and things like that. She then asked me if that guy is a ah beng and I told karan that he's a poly student and that he is very happy with ruiyun. So that to let karan know that that guy is taken. Don't have designs on him.(laughs) Went parkway parade with karan and huishan after school. Initially, I didn't want to go. But that huishan(auntie yeo) keep asking me to go. Then give her face and tag along. Karan went there to look for valentine's day gift and she got her boyfriend a tie in the end. Hope that she will be able to tie down her boyfriend with that tie.(giggles) It just reminds me that I haven't get anything for my baby. OH GOD! Can I hide in an extra large gift box and give it to you as a valentine's day gift?(laughs) going to stop here. Have to continue with my work already..

some of the things you said just irks me. -,-
i'm going to survive on cup noodles everyday. I'm getting broke. :(((((((